Thursday, December 31, 2009

Year in words

If you're not reading the 1000 awesome things blog, you should be. simply for this awesome entry: http://1000awesomethings.com/2009/12/31/601-getting-through-it/
I admit, I teared up reading it. Very inspiring and very touching. I am in awe of the power of written words.

As the year comes to an end,

I take a quote from my buddy's blog, and realize: I am blessed and highly favored. Looking back at this year, many things have impacted my life and my state of being. Many were negative things, and yet, at this moment, I feel blessed and highly favored.
I feel positive and secure about the future. And I welcome the feeling.

<------- look. over there...

no, I haven't lost 16 pounds already, but I am making things more realistic. Like having my first goal be 5% of my body weight. That sounds like a little bit, but it comes out to 14 pounds. So that's my goal. And, if (when) i reach it, we'll talk something more.

i've been lax on reporting food here

but, i promise you, I am recording and monitoring what i consume. For instance, this is yesterdays food intake:

breakfast, a jelly donut. (I can just hear R. Lee Ermy. "A jelly donut!?! Private Pile!")
lunch, a small plate of hot open turkey. Really. A small plate, and I stopped 2/3 of the way, not stuffing myself.
about a third of a can of pepsi, caff free
dinner, another small plate of hot open turkey. a can of pepsi, caff free
snacks, a hot dog with kraut from a kosher deli. mmmm. only one, even though i wanted another.
quarter can of dr. brown's cream soda.
2 cucumbers, sliced
9 glasses of water.

that's not a bad day food wise.

slept a little bit, and am now awake to face the day.....or si it seems

Good morning campers, it's before 8am, and I am awake, with no reason to be. I went to sleep early last night, and then woke up at 330am, and then again at 7am, and have stayed awake. I ate a small meal, and am now thinking about finishing cleaning this room of mine. I am a little tired still, but I'm trying to stop the habit of eating and going back to sleep.
Today is the last day of 09, with everyone making a big deal about the decade and such. So, I'll take a moment to look bat at the last ten years for me. 10 years starting at 99, not 2000.

1999 - graduated high school; started college
2000 - got good grades one semester, 3.45; went to israel
2001 - had a couple of good jobs; 9/11; dropped out of Tulane; enlisted in the Marines
2002 - boot camp, combat training, aav school
2003 - invaded another country
2004 - part-time active duty; finished a semester at LSU
2005 - iraq, part 2; got fucked in the head - PTSD, MDD, PAD, TBI
2006 - had a business that was a casualty of economy and poor management by me; got treated for PTSD
2007 - tried college again, dropped out; went to israel again
2008 - tried college again, dropped out; went to israel again
2009 - not much that i did this year.

oh yeah - from 2006 to 2009, gained a hundred frickin pounds. And that was the decade in review.

look for new resolutions later today, more realistic and timely ones.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

today was all about situational awareness regarding hunger and portions, etc.

I went out with my dad, and had a hot dog. Just one. I wanted two. Maybe even thought I was hungry for two. Yet, one is all I had. Interesting.

ate lunch - but wait

eating lunch is not such a big accomplishment. However, I ate a much smaller portion than usual, and drank 2 glasses of water during the meal, which helped to stop me from overeating. I am pleased. And, I have leftovers.

woke up this morning,

i went to the kitchen and promptly stuck a donut in my mouth. didn't even think about it, wasn't all that hungry, but realized after the first bite that it was simply habit. wake up, eat. eat, sleep. well, i guess the comforting this is that i am now beginning to notice bad habits like these, and that's the first step to altering them. trying to decide on a walk before lunch or not.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Looking for some accountability

Well, I am hoping that there's actually some people visiting this page, and then coming back. I figure that if I have regular "readers" who go through this process with me, I will feel accountable to them as well, which could help me on some un-motivated days. So, tell your friends about the fat guy, and let's see if we can do this together. Thanks

lookout - it's the scale!

so, down at the VA, I was weighed, and the number is not pretty - 277 pounds. well, I've got my work cut out for me. I'll be starting two programs for my weight loss goal on the first, but do not want to advertise them, cause if I fail, i can blame it on me, and not them.

i was productive today

I helped my dad deliver a mailing today, which can be counted as a workout. I also made a new bracelet, as the one I have doesn't fit my fat wrists anymore. No, I really don't care that my wrists are fat. It could be just that the old one is 4 years old, and I naturally grew. With the rest of my fatness, I could not give one fraction of a shit about my wrists. thats like asking "do my toes look fat?" dammit - it's not your toes, it's your whole fucking foot. looks like you got a baby tryin to get outta there.

So, the bracelet was cool - check here. Tomorrow I need to start cleaning the room and organizing things, so that when the new year begins, I will be ready. I give myself 80/20 odds I won't do it. well, by now I have nothing more to say.

Monday, December 28, 2009

welcome, welcome, one and all,

to the greatest show of all. in a couple of days, it will be january 1st. and that will begin the massive change that I am making. i figure that i can relax, and prep for the changes before the 1st, but once the 1st comes, it's game time. I'd post food logs, but I have been eating like crap lately, so it should be no surprise I am way over my calorie limit.
However, i will be posting some meal plans, in the hopes that i can set up a 4 week plan to follow. hope everyone had a great christmas and holiday season, and health and happiness to you on the new year.

Friday, December 25, 2009

merry, merry christmas

not much for posting today. enjoy the holidays.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

oh, how i love medications...

prescription drugs i'm talking about, and as prescribed. that being said, i am being sarcastic about loving them. I'm having some sort of side effect from a new medication and i'm rather aggravated about it. every time i goto the VA they try some different med, and sometimes i just hate it.
However, I had a hamburger and some mac and cheese and soda for dinner earlier with dad. I'm just cranky and it's christmas eve, so screw that.

Gooooooooooooood Morning Christmas Eve.

Not that Christmas Eve means anything to this jew. However, I still have to make preparations, like stocking up on food whilst every store will be closed today and tomorrow. And maybe get a couple movies, cause there ain't nothing good on tv. Anyway, I got up and ate pop tarts with some milk. so thats:
652 calories, 95g carbohydrates, 21g fat, 23g of protein.
And now I try to decide what to do today. I need to do laundry, and clean the room. But, there's a Ghost Hunters marathon today, and it's calling for me. Happy Merry yall.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

ach, food, you have slain me

half a ham steak and some beef noodles. looks decent - 550 cal, 115g carbs, 7g fat, 15g protein. possibly the most nutritious meal i've had in months.

mmmm fat guy like eating

So, after getting up about an hour ago, I ate the leftovers of my dad's turkey. We're gonna call that another 2,000 calories. And I continue to eat way too fast without realizing it until I am done and my stomach hurts from too much and too fast. This is really something I need to be cognizant of every time I eat. 

Afternoon, yall

Just ate some brunch. Three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and two glasses of 2% milk, equaling:
1,627 calories; 172g carbs; 81g of fat; and 66g of protein.

Food Loggers

At around 11:15pm or so, I ate the rest of my hot open turkey sandwich, then promptly went to sleep. This is another problem I have, eating and then quickly going to sleep. I woke up about a half hour ago, had some more turkey and some potato sticks and three glasses of soda. And now I'm going back to sleep. Y'know what sucks? It's that I know that this is why I'm a fat slob, but I haven't the mmph to change it. YET. Come January 1, this type of behavior won't be tolerated. 

(I hope)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

So this site is starting to come together nicely

I've added quite a few things around here. The timer up top, which I am quite proud to have quit tobacco. Also added a ticker on the left which will track my weight progress. I'll also add some humor and other things that catch my attention here. 
However, let's add some more food to today:
Hot open turkey meal at The California. I'm gonna ballpark that at around 2000 calories (and that's just half of the meal.) Did manage to drink water and very little soda. So that's something at least.

Totally off topic, but I laughed so hard...

I used to be able to follow these guidelines

So, for a male my height, my age, the max weight I could be is: 186lbs. And no more than 19% body fat. Until 2006, I had no problems with that. And then I got my Iraq gift: PTSD and major depression. And I went all to hell. My motivation to stay in shape vanished. My eating habits blew up. I took all sorts of medication. I sat in bed all day watching the tv. It was a perfect storm of clusterfuck for me. And I am paying for it now. But I have decided enough is enough. I won't kid myself and try to get to Marine Corps standards. But I will improve on what I have now. 30 lbs. in 2010. Thats the goal.

Let's start a food log, yes?

I am hoping that this blog will give me the accountability that I lack right now. Meaning, I hope that the risk of failure and looking like a quitter will make me continue and stick with the program.

On the program note, I think logging the food I eat each day should be a good yardstick to determine what is good, and what is bad. I will use the nutrition content from sparkpeople.com where I am a member.

So, today is Tuesday, December 22, 2009. It is 1:06 pm and I just woke up and ate the following:

Two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a glass and a half of 2% milk. That totals out to be:

1,023 Calories, 109g Carbohydrates, 51g Fat, and 40g Protein.

On some weird calculation, for my lifestyle and my body type, I normally require somewhere in the area of 3,300 calories a day. The same calculation tells me to begin cutting that number down, which would then have the body start using up fat instead of calories from food intake. I know all this, and I'm sure if anyone else has dieted before, you know this as well. So we're gonna go from here on in, assuming we know what it is we're doing.

That is quite a large meal calorie wise, so theoretically I will have to watch the rest of the day's meals.

We should probably get to know one another...

I'll start. Like it says on the left side, my name is Dan, and I am an overweight 28 year old. I have made my New Year's resolution early. My goal is for me to lose 30 lbs in 2010. That's just a little over 2 lbs a month.

So let's start out with some background: I am a Marine Corps veteran of two combat tours in Iraq. I returned in October 2005. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a Traumatic Brain Injury. I have been on many different medications for both of these ailments for over 4 years now. The basic treatment is therapy and medication. So the medications are psychiatric meds, all of which have a side effect of weight gain. 

However, I am not going to place all of the blame on the medications. I have not been doing much lately as far as living healthy. So that may be a benefit to the desire to lose weight -- the unintentional side effect of living healthy.

So to start out, I kinda have a plan. I am deciding which workout plans to use, and the right diet. Which should be pretty darn difficult. I've got four years of habits to break. Four years of overeating, stress eating, unregimented sleep cycles, sitting around watching the TV all day. So it looks pretty difficult from this end. But, I'm gonna take it one day at a time, and get some results. 


Let's see if this works.