Right now, I weigh 235 pounds. That's 42 pounds less than when I started a year ago. But to say that losing 42 pounds is the measuring stick for what's different between me now and me a year ago, is missing out on so much more.
I feel like I did a complete turnaround of my life. When 2010 started, my situation was much as it had been since returning from Iraq back in 2005: I was stuck in a depression the likes of which devoured me completely. I hid from everyone - my friends and my family, people trying to help - everyone. I had no job and no life whatsoever. I didn't go out and do social things. I couldn't work at that point. So basically I had nothing.
However I decided that I was going to change. I decided that I would lose weight. I would get in shape. And from that beginning, everything else seemed to fall into place. I got a job in April, and was able to work full-time. I made some money but also got out of the house and interacted with people on a daily basis. I lost weight. I began to regain self-confidence. I helped others, and in so doing helped myself.
Now, if you've read a fraction of this blog, you'd know that it was not an easy road. None of this came right away, and none of it is here at all times. I still struggle daily with depression, self-loathing and self-doubt. I still struggle with social situations. I struggle with my inner demons trying to hijack my thoughts and screw me up. But it's a struggle that I am winning more than I am losing.
I am living here in Israel, half a world away from everything and everyone. I live in an apartment with six other people, six people who I didn't know when I got here. I am volunteering in a country where they speak a different language. I have learned a great deal here. I have made friends with some great people. I live with great people, and they live with me. I am living.
If there is nothing else to take from this post, it's that in 2010, I started living again.
So what to do as a followup in 2011? I think most of my goals will be continuation goals, but perhaps a new one here or there:
Keep playing guitar: I am learning and having a great time making some music, and I want to get better.
Keep exercising: If nothing else, the exercising helps with the depression
Lose 35 pounds: I want to be 200 pounds when 2012 comes along.
Go back to college: It's high time I finished college. This is the year I start that path.
Make new friends: Can never have too many friends.
Go on a date: Might as well see what's out there.
Well, that's it from here. If I think of more, I'l post them.