i've found that certain days i am just not fully here enough to be social. actually, it may be more accurate that i don't want to put what seems like an enormous effort in.
today is one of those days and i know why. well, maybe not exactly why, but i can absolutely pinpoint certain contributing factors:
i have not been getting enough sleep lately. the new people are here, and i have been drinking quite a few nights with them, and not going to bed until late. i didn't get but 4 hours last night and so i came home after school and napped. i woke up tired and that made me worse.
there's also a lot of sociality issues that i have been experiencing lately. so, i have no idea how to interact with girls anymore. i'm seriously stupid.
and i know that what i just said is untrue, because i've been doing alright. it's just that today, i'm pretty depressed and dejected, so my thought process is quite murky and delusional.