valentine's day, which never held very much significance for me, is another hallmark holiday. however, it does serve to remind me that i am single, and have been for a loooooooong time.
what makes this valentine's day different is that i am (was?) kinda interested in this girl. she made it clear that she wasn't interested in me like that, and i of course accepted that. that didn't change my feelings or interest. but it was really good that she was honest with me.
but now the thing is how i deal with the current situation. we are friends, and i value her friendship and don't want to fuck that up. it's just i haven't been in this type of situation in quite some time, so the chances are good that i will fuck it up somehow. which is a shame, because she is really someone i want as a friend.
so the answer to my previous post, "disappointed?" is yes. I am disappointed.
but still i grow and learn.
originally written 2025 14 Feb 2011