Monday, March 7, 2011
i woke up on wednesday of last week and wasn't sure i was able to stay in israel for another five months. the question of wasn't feasibility, it was mental ability for me. i woke up depressed and down, and wasn't sure that i could make it another five months. i was worried that if i stayed, i might fail, and therefore tarnish the great feeling i had about the first five months. i worried that i really can't do it. so that, and the fact that i have shit to take care of at home helped me make the decision to come home. but truth be told, the things i have to take care of in new york could have been put off. i could have just said, fuck it. too bad. but i didn't. and so, now i'm here in new york.