no shit, sherlock. i think there is some significance in writing that sentence. in writing that, i allow myself to clarify what and how i am feeling. to realize that i have been depressed like this before. that i have even been more depressed than this before.
usually, saying that this has happened before has been of no help. because i would just switch my anger to the issue of why does it have to keep happening. but not this time. no. this time, right now, i am engaging the brakes on this. this time, i remember and acknowledge, i am going to be ok.
I WILL BE OK.
that is the answer. that is the key. there's no time limit on it. there's no pressure to get my head straight by a certain time. all of that is secondary. the key is that i will be ok.
how do i know this? two ways: i can go back through this blog, and watch the cycles of depression begin and end. or, i could quote Leo McGarry:
This guy’s walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A doctor passes by; the guy shouts up, “Hey Doc, can you help me out?” The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down the hole, and moves on. A priest passes by, the guy shouts up “Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?” The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole, and walks on. Then a friend walks by; “Hey Joe it’s me, can you help me out?” and the friend jumps in the hole. The guy says, “Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.” The friend says, “Yeah, but I’ve been down here before, And I know the way out.”