Thursday, September 1, 2011

tea

i'm sitting in my room, drinking chamomile tea with lavendar, lemon and honey. i like tea. i learned to drink tea with one of my good friends, Philip. I am hoping that it calms me down and allows me to get to sleep. this is the second day in a row that i am having difficulty falling asleep. last night i couldn't sleep at all so i stayed up and went to my first three classes. i attempted a short nap before my last class and ended up sleeping five hours. which surely accounts for one of the reasons the body isn't actually all that physically tired. but in addition to that, my mind is anxious and on edge. i now missed a class, and we're not even through the first week. also, today was a rough day in hebrew, very humbling in which i learned that i am not as good a speaker as i thought. (giving credit where it is due, there are 5 or 6 israelis in the class. so it's not really a good measuring stick)

i am attempting to use my awake time productively, ie i am organizing my room, and trying to set up a system in which to study and work without my desk looking like a sandstorm just blew through.

there is an issue with the server since the hurricane, and i am going to be on the phone working on it in the morning (assuming i sleep, the phone call will wake me - if not, i'll be waiting for the call) i only have one class at 415, so its not a big day. i really don't like the class impression i got tuesday. and honestly, i got up and left early anyway. so i don't know what to make of it.

anyway, i am actively fighting the depression and passively allowing the anxiety to take over. ain't that some shit.

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