Sunday, October 25, 2015

sunday early morning. (really late saturday night)

i haven't been posting lately, but i'm doing well. i missed a class last week, but went to the rest. overall, i'm sleeping better, and my dayrates are better. could i be doing better? of course. i will start running again soon, which will help.

i'm just letting you know i'm alright. thanks.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Feeling

So, I've been doing better the last two weeks or so. Feeling decent. Today was different.

I realize now that "decent" isn't a feeling, it's not an emotion. I'm starting to feel again. Today, I felt sadness and loss. I mean, no-shit really felt. I started crying heavily in my car on the way home from class. I was listening to a song, and my mind went places, and I started to cry. I tried t stifle it at first, but realized that I needed to feel emotions again, even those emotions that are uncomfortable to feel.

I'm not up to going into detail on what prompted me to cry. I just wanted to say I felt something today.

It's a good day.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Well, now.

For the first time this semester, I went to all my classes this week. Also, I finished a 60-day tracking of the quality of the day (a rating from 0 to 10, in .25 increments) as well as sleep duration (in minutes, delineated into deep sleep and light sleep). These are the charts:


Thoughts:
A. What a vicious rollercoaster that was.
B. Man is my sleep fucked up.
C. The tail end of both graphs are moving in the right direction
D. "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."

Go forth and do great things, friends. Thanks for checking in.